Wherever You Go, There You Are is the title of one of Jon Kabat-Zinn’s books. The book is about meditation and mindfulness. The title sounds quite apparent. Of course wherever you go, there you are, however the reality is that we are so often lost in the constant trance of thoughts in our heads that we can no longer enjoy what is right in front of us.
The other evening, I went for a lovely walk with my husband. Usually, walking for me is the act of moving with purpose rather quickly from point A to arrive at point B. However, this walk was more intended to help us connect after a long week.
The walk was pleasant for a while, but I found myself getting irritated. Now, whenever I am walking with my husband, he often tells me to slow down, only he doesn’t say slow down he says, “You’re speeding up again.” (which can be quite irritating to me).
I found myself annoyed at having to alter my speed. After a few minutes of dwelling in irritation, I started to simply take a few spacious breaths and drop into the body more.
I noticed my feet touching the ground, along with the sound of each step and feeling the temperature of the breeze on my exposed skin. I began to move with more natural awareness. I began to think about why was I rushing? I didn’t have to hurry anywhere in that moment. We weren't under any time constraints, so why was I pushing so hard and fast to get to my destination. After all, our evening walk together was genuinely about connecting and talking after a long week.
When I began to ease into the stroll at a more leisurely pace, I was also able to zoom in on, being more of an attentive listener to my husband. I suddenly stopped trying so hard to get somewhere and to recognize this mindful moment of being present with where I was. It made me think back to one of Jon Kabit Zinn's book titles Wherever You Go, There You Are. This book title is such a great phrase to repeat to yourself as a reminder to not only arrive in the current moment but to try to stay in it over and over again.
After few more blocks, the pace felt good, I allowed the tension in my shoulders to drop and I even noticed my mind relaxed into the ease of just walking and enjoying my partner's company.
My husband stretched out to hold my hand as we walked. I softened some more and noticed again what was most important at this moment. This moment was allowing me to connect with a loved one and be here in my body and mind in this ever-present moment.
In reflecting on this moment, I can look back and understand that I had underlying stress and anxiety lurking below the surface which was manifesting itself during our walk. It wasn’t the actual pace of the walk that was my actual cause of irritation. However, when the feeling of irritation arose, I was able to put specific mindfulness practice into place that allowed me to better understand myself in that moment and to fall into the state of being more present and connected during the walk. And with this came a sense of gratitude and appreciation for not letting this wonderful moment be lost.
Even on difficult days, mindfulness can help us to find that sense of peace and calm if we are willing to put it into practice.
Follow Neila on Twitter at: @neilasteele
Neila Steele & Andy Vasily